Thursday, September 14, 2006

You're Safe! Kind Of.

Here's a handy ranking of the various dangers confronting America, based on the number of mortalities in each category throughout the 11-year period spanning 1995 through 2005 (extrapolated from best available data).

S E V E R E:
Driving off the road: 254,419
Falling: 146,542
Accidental poisoning: 140,327
H I G H:
Dying from work: 59,730
Walking down the street: 52,000.
Accidentally drowning: 38,302
E L E V A T E D:
Killed by the flu: 19,415
Dying from a hernia: 16,742
G U A R D E D:
Accidental firing of a gun: 8,536
Electrocution: 5,171
L O W:
Being shot by law enforcement: 3,949
Terrorism: 3147
Carbon monoxide in products: 1,554
Walking down the street. Great. Remember that as you leave work today!

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